Childhood Cancer Canada

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Although the majority of children who are diagnosed with cancer will be successfully treated, there are times when cancer cannot be cured. When cancer recurs after a period of remission, it is known as a relapse. If further treatments fail, resulting in second and third relapses, the disease usually progresses until the child or adolescent dies.

During some of this time, the child or adolescent may feel well enough to attend school. For them, being at school represents some semblance of hope. As the students deal with their classmate's declining health, it is important that there is open communication among school, family, and the health professionals. It is also important to be sensitive to and respectful of the family's perspective, e.g., their culture and belief system.

The death of a student can be one of the most traumatic experiences that you will ever have. You do not have to deal with the situation alone; you can get personal support from your family, colleagues, friends, and health care providers, e.g., Interlink nurses, social workers. Many school boards provide crisis response teams to help staff and students during this time. While others provide assistance, as the classroom teacher, you will be the one most actively supporting the students as they grieve for and remember their friend.

Suggestions for Helping the School Community Cope

During the period of declining health:

• Inform school staff and support team members and keep the channels of communication open.
• Provide for physical and emotional needs, e.g., a safe and caring environment when the student is able to attend school.
• Continue to support sibling(s), e.g., identify a staff member who will focus on their needs.
• Plan ahead for how to respond to the death, e.g., who to inform and how to inform them.
• Maintain communication channels with frequent updates.
• Encourage open expression of feelings, including your own.

After death:

• Address the death openly and honestly, avoid using euphemisms that might be taken literally, e.g., gone to sleep.
• With parents' permission, give visitation and funeral arrangements to the school community.
• Respond to students' questions as often and for as long as needed.
• Be empathetic to the range of grief responses of staff and students.
• Hold a memorial service, inviting the family and extended school community to celebrate the life of the individual.
• Recognize the student who has died, e.g., plant a tree, display a commemorative plaque, or establish an award or scholarship.

Grief

When a child dies, the processes of mourning and bereavement begin. Individuals can experience many different feelings that are all part of the emotional response called grief. These feelings can include disbelief, fear, sadness, loneliness, guilt, anger, despair, and personal loss. Some individuals are unable to understand the intensity and associated responses to these feelings. Grief can be manifested emotionally and physically. Some express this grief easily and openly, while others hide their feelings.

There is no right way to grieve. It may be helpful to gather information ahead of time about how people may respond to the death and the grieving process. For further information refer to Death and Grief: Supporting Children and Youth below.
 

Death and Grief: Supporting Children and Youth. (PDF document)
 

This resource includes:

• Outline of the stages of the grief proces
• Behaviours associated with grief (preschool/elementary/middle/high school)
• Signs that additional help is needed
• Tips for supporting grieving children and youth for parents and teachers

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